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Let’s be real: no one is perfect. I am guilty of using the TV to babysit the kids sometimes. I think we have all ordered pizza instead of making a balanced meal. We all feel like we’re putting in half the effort for parenthood on a regular basis. However, not having my life completely together 24/7 does not equate to me being a mess and a failure. It makes me human.

Potty Training a toddler during coronavirus quarantine My potty-training son with his ‘electronic babysitter’ so I can get some work done.

This is an important reminder, especially now in the time of COVID-19. Our days in quarantine are a delicate balancing act of working, raising children, and getting used to this new normal. It’s easy to feel like we are failing.

Even on our best days, motherhood is incredible and incredibly messy. However, the idea of a “hot mess mom” diminishes who we are and what we do as parents. Just because you don’t hit the mark of being the perfect mother 100% of the time doesn’t mean you are a total mess or a failure. We need to give ourselves some grace because we all have a lot to juggle in life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a ‘mess’, because we are at times. 

Rochester NY Family Photographer | Motherhood photography

We cannot dismiss our struggles and shortcomings with a catchy phrase, because they are essential to our experience. Those struggles help elevate the joys of parenthood–just like you can’t truly appreciate light without darkness.  So, no, I am not a hot mess and neither are you. 

We’re setting extremely high expectations for ourselves and there is nothing wrong with that. However, when we fall short and deem ourselves to be nothing but a ‘hot mess’, it discredits all the hard work we are doing on a daily basis. Motherhood is freaking hard, but it’s also one of the most incredible things I’ve experienced. 

It’s important to remember life is imperfectly perfect and while we should always be real and honest, let’s do it with kindness. 

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